Actress/ Dancer Visits NYC
Speaking of Broadway, a buddy from Vermont called and says he’s friends with this actress/dancer who needs a place to stay in NYC for a couple of days while she tries out for a couple of plays. I said well if she’s really stuck for a place to stay then perhaps I should be a nice guy and offer the extra bedroom in my apartment in midtown. So last week I pick her up at the airport and take her to dinner. At dinner she says she really appreciates me having her as my guest but she says she’s “kind of” dating someone and hoped that I wasn’t expecting anything other than friendship. I said “I’m just happy to have your company, of course.” She then mentions that she needs to stay for the whole week instead of just a couple of days.
So my question is: Why do pretty women always ask for favors without expecting to reciprocate?
posted by CassWorldNYC @ 6:41 PM
13 Comments:
Yeah! I've always wondered the same thing. I had this girl "friend" who was gorgeous. We hung out a lot and had a good time. Other than making out every now and then (which was really good) she never wanted anything more than that.
But she was ALWAYS asking me for favors. And for awhile I was more than willing to oblige... until one day I asked myself "why am I doing all this while she's doing absolutely nothing in return!?" So one day she calls me up and asks if she and her girlfriend could stay at my place when they came to New York for a few days. Suddenly, in a moment of sanity I said "no". She was shocked... asked why... acted confused and bewildered.
She didn't really get it though. Later she called and told me she'd love to come up for a visit - "just to see me" and wondered if I'd buy her the ticket! I again said no. She kept asking why and finally I just said, "those are things I only do for 'girlfriends'". She finally got the point and stopped asking!
So guys - quit giving hotties everything they want and they'll realize they have to give a little more in return.
If I say no, but you say yes, they'll just move on to the next sucker. If we all say no - they'll have to start giving it up! Why not give more of the goodies to a girl who's less hot but with a much better heart? Seriously.
"Why do pretty women always ask for favors without expecting to reciprocate" you ask? That would mean that you are expecting her to let you stay at her place the next time you are visiting her city. That's the meaning of "reciprocation". I think you are really asking why she won't 'put out' just because you let her stay at your place. When you offered your place, you should not have expected anything in return. When she asked to stay a whole week instead of the agreed upon couple of days, you should have opened your mouth and said "NO". Very easy. There are plenty of hotels here in the city. You can only be taken advantage of if you allow it. You said yourself that you let her stay with you because you wanted to be a "nice guy", not because you thought you'd get laid, so what are you complaining about?
....and let me fill you in on another thing...not "all" of us pretty women ask for favors from guys. Some of us are very self-sufficient.
This reminds me of a wonderful New Yorker cartoon of only a few months ago. Two lovlies talking to each other, one saying to the other, "Beauty is the E-Z Pass of life."
One of these “anonymous” said…
Quote “You [Original poster] said yourself that you let her stay with you because you wanted to be a "nice guy", not because you thought you'd get laid, so what are you complaining about?” End Quote
(.) Number 1 – The original poster did not say he wanted be a nice guy. He said he should be. There is a difference somewhere. I leave it to you discretion to figure what it is.
(.) Number 2 – He was not complaining, he was pondering a simple question. Wow I see a pattern here of how you love to jam words and ideas into simple matters.
Quote “....and let me fill you in on another thing...not "all" of us pretty women ask for favors from guys.” End Quote
(.) Number 1 – Agreed that some pretty women do not ask favors from guys. Quantity and ration unknown though.
(.) Number 2 – That is pretty slick of you to enroll yourself in the realm of pretty women. Proof please. RECENT pictures only.
Quote “Some of us are very self-sufficient” End Quote
Fact – Pile of BS. Everyone depends on someone.
I think you fellas should first of all know the definition of "favor": "A gracious, friendly, or obliging act that is freely granted." If you expect something in return, it's not a favor. And Cass, how do you know your guest wasn't going to leave you a fabulous gift which you deserve when she left your apt. (like a nice big fruitcake)?! Secondly, I have a suggestion for you guys: Since you do 'favors' so girls "put out" in return, why don't you just hire some hookers?
I did end up letting her stay at my place and just being a good friend for more those 7 days. She mentioned that she was a budhist and believed that positive Karma was created everytime someone did a favor for someone else. She did note that the favor did not have to be from the person who received it. In fact since there is reincarnation the positive Karma could be repaid during another life time. Somehow this did not make me feel any better about giving her a free place to stay...
This is Morning Musume. Too lazy to log on. But...got to say this.
Ah. Another scientist talked.
Look, I personally have no problem when people are being nice to one another. Giving donation, treating friends, helping people, etc. That is all good. BUT – That girl told Cass during dinner, which is the very first night they met, according to the very first post, that she is “kind of” dating someone, and PREEMPTIVELY set the stage that if Cass is expecting any sexual favor from her that will not going to happened.
Are you reading the same text or you need a freaking talking book for this?
That makes the girl a PRO in getting free stuff from people. Well, she is kind of lame in the PRO scene; I know some of you veterans spotted that already.
If she had acted innocently I would have no problem with it at all.
By the way, another anonymous said “Secondly, I have a suggestion for you guys: Since you do 'favors' so girls "put out" in return, why don't you just hire some hookers?”
Answer – Some of us do, including some of your relatives, husbands, boyfriends, etc. You just have no clue. But hookers are at least fair (most of them, actually some of them are quite calculating; I often think they should move up and be real gold diggers and get a bunch of sugar daddies). You usually get what you paid for, sometimes more.
And for the same anonymous – I don’t think most people in the party scene needs a fruitcake. Who needs a fruitcake? Dame it. If you need one I will send you one after another so you can see how annoying are fruitcakes. Fruitcakes? You must be kidding. All right, I shall calm down and you, Mr./Mrs./Miss anonoymous, is forgiven.
Cass is being nice. But in my humble opinion he is OWNED by this leech in this particular incident.
By the way, the new information from Cass that “there is reincarnation the positive Karma could be repaid during another life time” gives me severe heartburn. For starter, even if there is such a thing as reincarnation, you will not remember a thing from your previous life. That nullify the whole thing, got it? Wow, Cass you were so owned by this girl.
-- See? Very simple to see what the hell happened, if you are being fair and 50/50.
In the end she was just a really sweet girl who just wanted a chance to make it NYC. If I had to do it over again, I would.
http://newyorkmodels.com/portfolios_d?id=1119&div=2&base=0&login=&pass=
Who wouldn't?
Morning Musume said…
TroubleNYC said -> “I am just completely disgusted and baffled by the fact that you [Cass] would expect a date or sex in exchange for letting a friend of a friend stay with you.”
Ah, Cass was not expecting anything. Cass simply asked a question after the fact (read 1st post) that the woman preemptively shut the back door (and the front, ha!). Jesus MBA (with luck) please adds a comprehension class to your current curriculum.
Now my comment to people who have the utmost urge to disclose how successful they are in life (in they own opinions) – does that really make you feel better about yourselves? I am making six figures…I am also a pretty woman…I am very such and such… Doing so just make it seems you are lacking confidence and have to prove something. And again, when it comes to beauty you can say whatever you want but some of us need proof – once again, RECENT pictures only.
A lot of people make six figures, there is no need to self promote. You are marking yourself as shallow and dumb.
TroubleNYC also said “your [Cass I assume?] writing and pretty much everything that seems to be focused on the events you attend and the people you hang out with is the old school, WASPy, older rich guy-younger hot woman mentality. If you are a man only after a supermodel who is 10 to 20 years younger than you to breed with then toss away when a younger model comes along, you deserve to be raked over the coals financially for being such a superficial a-hole.”
That, is pretty factual and I think you are right, but a bit off-topic. HOWEVER, an a-hole to you could be a hero to some. And guess who wins when the sun comes up?
Oh by the way, stories do not end simply when one says so, especially when a story is created by more than one individual. Put that in your MBA thesis.
-- See? This is going to be a fun topic after all.
Good God,
It is your responsibility to say you can stay here but you have to work as a personal ass't not a hooker. Really I'm not degrading you because you're a poor starving dancer. The business is so ruthless to begin with. If you make it that's great because you have fought you're way through many unhappy souls. Give the girl a break and some darn chores ie... cleaning everything in your apt, picking up your dry cleaning.Hell, teach her something like how to trade on line.
Make her respect your integrity, your home and show her not all men are going to try and compromise her core.
It should not boil down to sex and overly critical myopic views.
Here's a new perspective. The original guy in vermont who made the phone call to cass knew cass would say yes. They must be good friends for the guy to ask the question in the first place. The guy in vermont told cass the girl was hot and knowing cass, probably said she's got a boyfriend so don't think about geting lucky. guy talk,right? Cass, who we all know is a guy who gets around, has probably already spent time in vermont at his buddy's house—FREE, so he had no problem letting the girl stay with him. The guy in vermont probably warned the girl Cass will try to make a move so look out, so she pre-empts it with her comments that some of you think is inappropriate. It's the guys who are always looking/expecting sexual favors from a women, but a guy could go stay for a week FREE with a friend of a friend and it's no big deal, no need to reciprocate. The girl stayed with cass at the suggestion of the guy in vermont, doesn't sound like she was calculating, pretty or not.
if she had been attracted to Cass, she would have fucked him. she said "kind of dating someone" in case she met someone she did want to fuck! she was leaving the door open...and a favor for letting someone stay at your apartment is a nice dinner, fruit basket, flowers, candy, etc...not sex!
bottomline, beautiful girls make out and have sex with guys they want to make out and have sex with. It has nothing to do with favors....if you want someone to give you sex in exchange for a favor, go to a hooker!
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